Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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