Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
