Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
