Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
