Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
