Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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