you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
