how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think I am morally bankrupt
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
