i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
