nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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