i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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