yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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