i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
