This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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