but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
