I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
