Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
