I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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