some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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