Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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