It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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