take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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