dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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