why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
cat food counts as protein by the way
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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