And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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