I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
