what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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