This girl is more easily done than said...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
