The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
BRING THE BAGELS
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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