my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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