Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just invented taco cereal.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
