oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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