ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
