I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
