I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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