haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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