really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
