My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
