found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
