So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
