Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
