Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
