If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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