Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
