I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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