how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
