I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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