Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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