Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
