I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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