i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
