; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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