my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
